How to Break Your Smartphone and Social Media Addiction for Good

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve deleted every social media app from my phone, only to find myself redownloading them less than 24 hours later (or worse, just using the web browser version, as if that’s better 🥴).

If that isn’t an addiction, I don’t know what is.

I guess there’s some solace in knowing I’m not alone, though.

On average, American’s spend 4 hours and 37 minutes staring at their phone screen every day.

To put that into perspective, that’s about:

• 1 day per week
• 6 days every month
• 70 days a year

But wait, it gets worse.

If the average American gets a phone at age 12 and lives until they’re 76, they’d spend more than 4,480 days of their lifetime staring at their phone.

That’s TWELVE YEARS.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I was genuinely not ready for that. What a rude (but much needed) awakening.

That doesn’t even account for all the hours we spend staring at a computer screen for work or staring at the TV screen after work.

I am unwell…. I need to go rest my eyes, BRB 😂

Why We’re Addicted to Social Media

Two words: Corporate. Greed.

Social media has been psychologically designed to be addictive. The more we use it, the more money they make.

New York Times investigative reporter Max Fisher explains in his new book, The Chaos Machine, “Dopamine creates a positive association with whatever behaviors prompted its release, training you to repeat them…. When that dopamine reward system gets hijacked, it can compel you to repeat self-destructive behaviors. To place one more bet, binge on alcohol — or spend hours on apps even when they make you unhappy.”

Sound familiar?

Social media is a quick, cheap, readily available source of dopamine that we just can’t help but come back to over and over and over again.

Almost, if not every, time I find myself mindlessly scrolling on my phone (sometimes I resort to just opening my photos app for something to do), I find myself thinking, “I don’t even want to be doing this. I should stop.” …. But I don’t.

I. Just. Keep. Scrolling.

And it just creates this never-ending anxiety loop.

I’m anxious to use my phone.

Then I’m anxious because I’m using my phone.

It just never ends.

And no matter how many times I delete an app, I still find myself redownloading it and scrolling once again. Wasting hours – no, days – no, months – no, YEARS – of my life.

And while I’m wasting MY life, I’m watching other people live theirs.

How Social Media Addiction Affects Our Health

Research has shown a link between excessive smartphone use and mental health disorders.

It has been linked to:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• ADHD
• Impaired emotional regulation and cognitive function
• Impulsivity
• Low self-esteem

But we don’t really need the research to tell us that, do we, because it’s something most of us experience every day.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of letting a little rectangle control my life.

How to Break Your Phone and Social Media Addiction

After trying, and failing, to break my phone addiction way too many times, I have finally found something that works for me, and most likely you as well.

You may find just one of these things is what works for you, or you may find you need a combination of them (like I do).

It can take anywhere from 3 weeks to a YEAR to break an old habit. And with one as addictive as social media and phone usage, it’s probably going to take you longer than just 3 weeks.

The key is to be consistent. Just because you made it a month, doesn’t mean you’re out of the water yet. Speaking from experience here, after going a month without using my phone, I ended up using it once, and then I fell right back into my old patterns again.

So find what works for you and STICK WITH IT. Your life is worth it, my dear friend.

1. Understand that phone addiction is a cover up for another deeper issue.

• Feeling lonely.
• Desire for social connection.
• Lack of social skills.
• Avoidance of discomfort such as checking your phone to avoid an awkward situation.
• Being bored.
• Fidgeting.
• A quick and easy source of dopamine.
• Ignoring your problems.

Whatever your reasons, there is an underlying issue that’s causing you to focus so much of your attention on your phone.

You need to figure out what your triggers are, work to understand them, and take steps to solve those problems.

I’m a big proponent of therapy.

If therapy’s not your jam, do a brain dump.

And if that’s not for you, then find something that is.

2. Simply deleting the apps doesn’t work.

You can’t just delete the apps on your phone and expect everything to magically work out.

Think about it. You’ve been spending, on average, over 4 hours A DAY using your phone to scroll and immerse yourself in other people’s lives. Or pretending to live yours.

You *need* to fill the void that social media used to consume with something else.

Otherwise, you’ll find yourself using the mobile web version of YouTube scrolling through Shorts while you’re watching TV before you eventually cave and redownload the YouTube app *yet again.* Totally not speaking from experience here….

So what’s a bro to do?

Think back to your deeper underlying issues. Fill the void by working on those.

• Make friends (if you’re a loner, like me).
• Hang out with friends.
• Get out of the house and do something.
• Play with your pets.
• Take up hobbies.
• Enjoy your own company.
• Allow yourself to be bored.
• Overcome discomfort.
• Confront your problems head on.

Social media and smart phones have allowed us to avoid ourselves.

How are we supposed to learn and grow and love life when all we do is avoid it?

3. Take a break instead.

When you’re in the middle of something (like allowing yourself to be bored or needing a break from work) and feel the urge to reach for your phone, don’t.

You don’t actually want to use your phone, it’s just habit (and addiction). What you really need is a break from whatever you’re doing.

Here’s what I like to do when I feel the need to reach for my phone:

• Stretch or go for a walk (even if it’s just to the water cooler and back).
• Replace it with a self-care activity.
• Do some housework.
• Learn to be okay with doing nothing for a few minutes. Mindfulness, baby.
• Talk to someone, in person or on a phone call.
• Play with my doggy.
• Do some squats or pushups or whatever.
• Switch to another task/hobby.
• Read a book.
• Doodle.

So get up, refill your water, stretch, go for a walk, complete that task you’ve been putting off for 2 months, 19 days, 34 minutes, and 12 seconds.

Just for the love of god, do not start scrolling.

4. Put your phone in a different room when you sleep.

I grew up with my cell phone glued to my hip, so naturally, I slept with it on my bedside table.

And naturally, it was the first thing I reached for in the morning.

One of the habits I implemented a few years ago was no longer sleeping with my phone in my room.

After I get ready for bed, I leave my phone plugged in on the kitchen counter and it stays there until morning when I need it.

It makes a big difference in how I start my day, as I’m no longer wasting precious time scrolling and comparing my life to others first thing in the morning.

5. Physically detach yourself from your phone.

We have developed a codependency with our phones. Everywhere we go, our phones also MUST go. No exceptions.

And look at where that’s gotten us.

Something that’s really helped me is just leaving my phone where I left it. So instead of taking your phone with you everywhere you go, try this:

When you wake up, don’t grab it first thing in the morning.

When you’re home, leave it in the other room as much as possible.

When you go to the bathroom, don’t bring it with you.

When you’re out, leave it in your bag or pocket.

When you get home, put it away when you walk in the door.

Worried about missing something important? Put your ringer on.

Or if you have a smart watch, you can rely on that to tell you when you’re getting an important call or text that needs responding to immediately. And if it’s not important, all the other noise can easily be ignored.

6. Find something else to keep you occupied in the bathroom!!

Yes, I went there.

Having IBS (sorry if that’s TMI for you), I spend way too much time in the bathroom. And I’ve noticed that being bored in the bathroom is a recipe for disaster.

I have redownloaded several apps while in the bathroom because I was bored, always telling myself, “I’ll only use it in the bathroom.”

Yeah, you guessed it.

I lied.

I didn’t just use it in the bathroom.

But going to the bathroom without something to help pass the time is just unthinkable. And these days, reading the back of the air freshener bottle just doesn’t cut it.

So here’s what ya do to keep your mind occupied in the bathroom without your phone:

• Leave a book in the bathroom
• Solve a paper puzzle (NOT a puzzle/logic app on your phone!!)
• Find Waldo

Not only are you NOT using your phone, but you’re also challenging your mind.

It’s a win-win.

7. Set your phone aside one day a week.

It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Choose one day each week where you don’t use your phone at all.

For most people, Sundays are the ideal day to do this. You can spend time with your family. Get yourself ready for the week ahead. Be more present.

It really is incredible how much you can get done and how much lighter you feel when you’re not using your phone, especially for a whole day.

Try it. Be amazed.

8. Change your phone settings.

Social media, and smartphones in general, are designed to be addictive. So let’s make them less appealing.

• Change the colors on your phone to black and white so it’s more revolting.
• Put your phone in do not disturb mode or airplane mode
• Limit or turn off notifications.
• Delete all apps from your home screen except for utilities.
• Use app timers to limit app time (if you have enough will-power to actually follow them). Apple, at least, allows you to input a password when setting up app limits, and once you’ve reached your limit, you don’t get the option to “just 5 more minutes, sir” it.

9. Use social media when you want to use it, then log out.

We’ve all heard of just deleting the app. But have you heard of keeping the app and just logging yourself out after you’re done using it?

This alone doesn’t help you stop mindlessly scrolling. The purpose is to make it harder for you to use social media apps in the first place and creates a bit of a “Do I really want to use this?” pause before you can actually start scrolling.

For this to really work, you have to completely log yourself out of the app and do not save any login info. That way you have to manually enter your username and password, which if you’re like me, you have no idea what they are without looking them up.

10. Get rid of your smartphone.

This seems extreme, but if you think about it, do we really need smartphones these days?

Modern cars practically replace the need for a smartphone.

Work and school are mostly done on computers anyway, so if you need to Google something, you easily can.

And with a basic phone, you can still keep in contact with anyone you need to.

Maybe moving away from smartphones is the way to truly help us break our phone and social media addictions.

11. Find an accountability partner.

Having someone else to go through this uncomfortable experience with can help you stick with it and not feel so alone.

Whether it’s your spouse, a friend, or someone else you trust, having someone to hold you accountable (and vice versa) can aid in breaking your smartphone and social media addiction.

12. Tell yourself no.

Nothing will change if you don’t change, and that starts with you telling yourself no.

“No, I don’t need to bring my phone into the bathroom. I already have a book in there.”

“No, I shouldn’t open this app even though my fingers are wanting to.”

“No, I’m not going to ignore my app limit. I set it for a reason.”

The urge will be there, whether your phone is across the room or sitting right next to you.

Social media IS an addiction. You have to learn to tell yourself no.

Otherwise, none of these things are going to do you much good for long.

Remember:

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.