Why Am I Not Losing Weight? Fat Loss Mistakes That Are Keeping You Fat

When it comes down to it, weight loss is a very simple process: calories in < calories out.

But nobody said it was easy.

There are SO many factors — physical, mental, AND emotional — that influence weight gain and weight loss.

I know this all too well myself.

In a matter of 6 months, I gained 25 pounds of fat (which was 1/4 of my existing body weight). Yet it’s taken me over 2.5 years to lose it.

Through so much trial and error and frustration and self-consciousness, I realized the reason I wasn’t making any progress was because I kept making the same mistakes that led me to gain all this weight in the first place.

Unhealthy Habits That Made Me Fat (and Kept Me Fat)

1. Too much stress.

Stress is a hell of a thing.

I can pinpoint exactly when my stress went from a normal, manageable level to holy-fucking-shit, I’m drowning, and that’s when the weight gain commenced.

In the matter of a few months, I got my first full-time engineering job, bought a house, and started renovating my basement to turn into a rental unit with my husband.

What I thought would take 6 months, mayyyybe a year, turned into 3 whole freaking years of working a full-time, super stressful job AND renovating the basement with every free second we had.

Within a year, I had gained 20 pounds of fat. I was in denial for 6 months before I finally accepted what had happened, and by that point, I was 25 pounds heavier than I had been most my life.

But the stress persisted, and so did the weight, no matter how hard I tried to change my ways.

Why? Because chronic, elevated, sustained levels of stress can cause the body to store fat differently and change food intake behavior.

Meaning, the body burns less calories in an effort to hold onto fat because it doesn’t know when the stressful situation will end, leading to a slowed metabolism. High cortisol levels also cause you to feel hungrier and crave foods high in sugar, fat, and calories, so you eat more.

Which is exactly what I did — I started craving all the junk and fried foods, takeout, dessert, and I gave in to those cravings. As a result, I eventually gained 25 pounds of fat and struggled to lose it for over 2.5 years.

So basically, stress is a recipe for weight gain. The longer you experience a heightened stress response, the longer it’ll take to lose weight, no matter how much effort you put into eating less and exercising, because your body thinks that’s what you need to survive.

Long story short: stress is a huge factor in weight gain, and learning how to better manage and respond to it will go a long way in helping you lose weight and prevent other illness and disease from plaguing you.

Related: 7 Guided Meditations I Keep Coming Back To

2. Quitting when you’ve had a bad day.

I would say one of the main reasons most people don’t lose weight, despite their best intentions, is because they quit.

I have been there far too many times to count.

Missing a workout or overindulging once does not mean you’ve failed and the only solution is to quit.

One bad day doesn’t make or break your success. In fact, it doesn’t matter at all.

It’s what you do the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, that matters.

If you’re having a bad day, that’s okay. Rest if you need to. But remember that tomorrow’s a new day and a fresh start.

3. Not having discipline.

“Discipline is remembering what you want.” – David Campbell

If you want to change anything in your life, you HAVE to remember what you want.

I think this even goes one step further, though, because you can want 2 things that contradict each other (like eating takeout multiple times a week AND wanting to lose weight). You just have to decide which one you want MORE.

Why are you trying to lose weight?

To live longer.

To feel comfortable in your own skin.

To feel confident.

To be able to do more.

To take care of yourself.

To not be winded from a short walk.

Whatever your reason, don’t forget it. You have to constantly keep reminding yourself of what you want more.

To eat dessert every single night or to eat a little less so you can lose weight.

To scroll on your phone or to get up and make dinner instead of ordering takeout.

To lay on the couch where it’s warm and watch another episode or get up and workout while you watch the episode.

If you have no self control and you don’t hold yourself accountable, you’re going to keep choosing what’s familiar and what’s easy over what has the power to change your life.

4. Having a scarcity mindset and eating things simply because they’re available.

Working in an office, people are constantly bringing in their leftover Halloween candy and donuts and random desserts because they feel like it, and it’s so easy to fall into the trap of grabbing something every time someone brings something in.

I feel like for a lot of us, if there’s something yummy sitting out and it’s free, we feel like we HAVE to eat it. Maybe it’s some sort of primal urge like dogs have to eat whenever they see food because if they don’t, the world is going to end. But that’s not reality for most of us.

Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you *have* to eat it. I repeat: just because it’s there doesn’t mean you *have* to eat it.

This also applies when you have sweets or other “junk food” in the house. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to eat it every day.

Yes, donuts and peanut butter cups are delicious. But remember:

1. There will always be more. Next week, next month, whenever — there will be more. You can count on it. So don’t feel like you missed your opportunity to have a donut, because there will be another at some point.
2. You don’t have to give in to every craving. Remember, discipline is what gets you from point A (where you are) to point B (where you want to be).

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a donut if you want one. But if someone brings in something else tomorrow and you also want that, and someone brings in something the next day and you also want that… where does it end?

Just remember how proud you’ll feel of yourself for resisting the urge and staying true to what you want more.

5. Underestimating how many calories you’re consuming.

Many of us put far too much value on exercise and not enough on diet and lifestyle.

Weight loss really does hinge on being in a calorie deficit.

If you’re consistently consuming more calories than you burn every day, you are going to gain weight. And if you’re consuming the same number of calories you burn every day, you’re going to maintain your current weight.

The only way to lose weight is to consume less calories than your body uses.

A cookie here and a soda there adds up. The only way to accurately know how many calories you’re eating is to pay attention to portions and track your food. And that means every single bite of food you take and drink you have that is not plain water.

You don’t have to track your food forever because you’ll eventually learn how many calories are in your favorite dishes and what a healthy portion size is, but if you want to see results, you need to measure your food and track what you’re eating for a bit.

MyFitnessPal is a great free app you can use to do so.

6. Eating too often, even when you aren’t hungry.

For many of us, our emotions influence what and when we eat, often times when we’re not even hungry.

We eat when we’re bored.

When we’re sad.

When we’re stressed.

When we’re celebrating.

When we’re craving something.

Eating has become habit for many of us, and most of the time we don’t even realize we’re not hungry. We just do it.

Pay attention to when you feel like eating, and ask yourself if you’re really hungry. You’d be surprised how often you’re not actually hungry and you’re just eating your feelings instead.

7. Eating every time you feel hungry.

On the other hand, sometimes we just eat every time we’re hungry.

For me personally, I absolutely *hate* feeling hungry. It’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings for me, so I eat to make the feeling of hunger go away, even if I already ate not that long ago.

Half the time, I end up eating junk food which is high in calories and low in nutritional value. Before I know it, I’ve eaten way too many calories for the day.

If you also eat every time you feel hungry, you need to learn that it’s okay to feel hungry. Nothing bad is going to happen if you haven’t eaten anything for a couple hours.

The feeling will eventually pass, or at least become less distracting, and you’ll make it to your next meal just fine. Your body will eventually adjust to consuming less calories and you won’t always feel that gnawing hunger. It just takes time (and is worth it).

8. You’re a snacker.

Snacking is a combination of eating out of habit when you’re not even hungry and eating every time you’re hungry.

Most people’s definition of a snack is something heavily processed and refined, like:

• Chips
• Crackers
• Popcorn
• Pretzels
• Granola bars
• Cookies

Soooo not really anything that actually fills you up, more just satisfies a craving.

You can cut a lot of calories by simply avoiding snacking. Remember, it’s okay to feel hungry.

But if you DO snack, stick to fruits, veggies, and whole-food protein sources like nuts, jerky, yogurt, to name a few. This way, you’re at least getting vital nutrients, fiber, and actually eating something of substance that will satiate you.

9. Unrealistic expectations.

I cannot stress this enough — 📣 weight loss takes time 📣.

Like, wayyyyy more time than you think.

You want to lose 5 pounds a week? Try 5 pounds A MONTH. Okay, maybe 5-10 pounds per month is more accurate. But losing 5 pounds a week is a completely unrealistic expectation.

General guidelines recommend a 500-1000 daily calorie deficit for weight loss. A 1000-calorie a day deficit equates to ~ 2 lbs of fat loss per week, but for many people, a 1000-calorie a day deficit is too extreme, especially if the majority of that decrease is coming out of your diet alone.

Even if you split it 50/50, that’s a lot less calories to be eating AND to be burning from a workout.

The social media posts you see claiming you can lose 5 pounds in a week fast are purely for views and not science-based.

I know it’s discouraging, but you have to look at the bigger picture: If you give up because you’re not seeing results as quickly as you thought you would, you’ll NEVER get to the finish line.

So what if it takes a year? The year will pass anyway. Do you want to be in the same place you are a year from now, or do you want to be somewhere else?

10. Not prepping *some* meals ahead of time.

If you find yourself constantly struggling to make a certain meal when it comes time to and you often find yourself eating out instead, take a moment to reflect on why.

I personally am not a fan of breakfast and intermittent fasting does not bode well being a female and having Hashimoto’s, so I need to eat breakfast. But I hate most breakfast options.

So I usually skip breakfast and end up very hungry the rest of the day, which results in me being very hangry and craving burgers and pizza and all the junk, which I usually give in to.

Or, I find myself eating a protein bar and, you guessed it, still being hungry and craving junk food the rest of the day.

To quit this dirty habit, I’ve started meal prepping breakfast so I always have something nutritious and filling to eat in the morning. I also like to make sure when I make dinner, I have enough leftovers for lunch throughout the week.

Whatever meal(s) you struggle to make and eat every day, prep some ahead of time. It’s a little extra work one day that ends up saving so much unnecessary stress, frustration, and hunger throughout the rest of the week. Which means you’re more likely to eat less calories and stay on track.

11. Treating exercise like a punishment or chore.

Mindset truly is everything.

If you think exercise is a punishment or feel like it’s a chore, you’re going to treat it that way: by putting it off. Avoiding it. Dreading it.

Yes, exercise is hard. But it won’t always feel that way.

Exercise is not a punishment for what you ate or how you look. It’s a celebration of what your body can do.

So ask yourself why you hate exercise so much, and consciously work to reframe those thoughts.

Keep reminding yourself that even though it’s hard, it’s a GOOD hard. Not like taking a trigonometry test hard.

The more you do it, the easier and more rewarding it will become.

There are many days I just don’t want to workout, but in those moments, I remind myself that I have never regretted a workout in my entire life. So forget about how you feel in the moment and:

12. Not making time to exercise.

Yes, exercise is a time commitment. But you have to make time for the things that matter to you.

I’m not going to sit here and say we all have the same 24 hours in a day, because we don’t. But the majority of us DO have at least 15 minutes a day we can devote to a workout. We just have to make time for it.

All exercise is good exercise, no matter how long or how difficult. 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Remember that.

If part of your issue is struggling to make it to the gym, then workout at home. You don’t have to go to the gym. I don’t. There are plenty of free workouts you can do from the comfort of your own home, whether you have equipment or just your body.

If you work from home, I highly recommend getting a **walking pad** to put under your standing desk for an hour or two each day. I got one a few months ago and it has been instrumental in getting me up and moving more throughout the day.

And if you still hate exercise after all that, it might be because… (see next reason).

13. You’re doing the wrong types of exercise.

And by wrong, I don’t mean you’re doing it wrong. I just mean you aren’t doing the right exercise for YOU.

If you find exercise:

• Boring
• Not engaging
• Like you’d rather be doing anything else

Chances are, you just haven’t found the right type of exercise for you.

Some people really love running.

Some people really love weight lifting.

Some people really love walking.

Some people really love swimming.

Some people really love hiking.

Some people really love team sports.

Some people really love HIIT.

Some people really love yoga.

Some people really love dance.

Some people really love cycling.

Some people really love skiing.

And some people really love something that’s not listed here.

Heck, there’s even such thing as cozy cardio!

The point is, there are SO many different forms of exercise you can engage in, and the best part is — you can do whatever’s fun for you!

There is no one-size fits all for exercise. So find something YOU enjoy, and do it!

Related: I Walked 30 Minutes Every Day for 30 Days: Here’s What I Learned

14. You’re too tired to *insert thing you should do here*.

This isn’t really a mistake, but it is a huge reason people give up, myself included.

I’ve had chronic fatigue for the last 8 years. Each year it seems to get worse.

Life gets more hectic.

Work gets more stressful.

You keep adding more to your plate instead of less.

The years of not taking care of yourself compound and catch up to you.

You’re left with nothing to give, especially a workout.

After so many years of putting everyone and everything else first and neglecting myself in the process, I’ve finally learned that the only way to overcome my struggles is to take care of myself first.

Once I take care of myself, I can then show up for others. For my husband. For my dog. For my house. For my job.

That means eating nutritious foods instead of ones I know are contributing to my illness.

That means cooking healthy meals myself instead of ordering takeout when I don’t feel like cooking.

That means getting up off the couch to move my body while I watch TV instead of staying on the couch where it’s warm and comfy.

That means choosing to prioritize the things *I* need first over the chores that need to be done, otherwise I won’t have any energy left to take care of myself. And the chores can wait.

That means not taking on more house projects right now, even though I really want to.

So remove things from your plate if you can. Give yourself grace. Do something gentle. Remind yourself that you never regret a workout after the fact, even when you’re tired going into it.

And life hack: Commit to the bare minimum. 1 minute. Remind yourself you can do anything for 1 minute, no matter how tired you are, and get up and do it. Then aim for 5 minutes. And after 5 minutes, aim for 10. And after 10 minutes, aim for 20.

You’d be surprised at how quickly the time flies once you just start.

15. Buying junk food.

If you want to eat healthier and eat less, you need to stop buying junk food.

I was just talking to my husband about this the other day. There’s this really addicting chocolate chip granola I love (I will not disclose the brand so as not to tempt you too) and *almost bought* it when I was getting groceries the other day.

But on second thought, just as I was putting it into the cart, I was like “sikeeeeee” and put it back because I KNEW if I bought it, I would eat it all in a few days and would later be disappointed in myself for not putting my health over my cravings.

At first, you’ll feel regret for not buying the junk food when the craving hits, but then you’ll be thankful you had self restraint because you remembered what you wanted more.

Losing weight, having more energy, and feeling confident > the temporary fix you get from junk food. 

16. Obsessing over the scale.

I said it once and I’ll say it again: Weight loss is a relatively slow process.

Constantly checking the scale and seeing the same number staring back at you causes so much unnecessary stress. Stress that can spiral into defeat, that you’re not making any progress, so what’s the point in even continuing?

Day to day, you’re not likely to see much change in the scale. But week to week, month to month, you are and you WILL as long as you’re consistent.

You’ll eventually notice your clothes are no longer as tight. It’s easier to move. You don’t get out of breath as quickly. These are more important indicators of progress than the number on the scale.

So stop obsessively weighing yourself every day.

Instead, weigh yourself once a week, at the same time, with the same clothing (or lack thereof). Then move on with your life.

17. Eating a high glycemic diet.

A high glycemic diet is the standard American diet (SAD): 

• Refined sugars: White sugar, brown sugar, cane sugar, etc.
• Sugary drinks: Soda, juice with added sugar, energy drinks, etc.
• Processed foods: Lunch meat, sausages, crackers, chips, boxed meals, frozen dinners, cereal, ice cream, condiments, etc. Basically anything that is more than a couple ingredients.
• Fast food: McDonald’s, Burger King, In-N-Out, KFC, Taco Bell, pizza, etc.
• Fried foods: Similar to many fast-food options, anything that is fried, as the oil is highly inflammatory (as are the other ingredients).
• Baked goods: Pastries, cookies, muffins, cakes, white bread, etc.
• Refined grains: White rice, white flour, instant oatmeal, etc. These are grains that have been milled to remove the bran and germ so they are no longer whole grains.
• Starchy vegetables: Potatoes, corn, parsnips, etc. Starchy vegetables can still be eaten in moderation, as they contain vital nutrients, unlike the other high glycemic foods on this list.

Ya know, the things most of us eat on a daily basis, if not for every meal.

Related: Acne-Causing Foods: Top 6 Foods to Avoid for Clear Skin

Not only are high glycemic foods calorie dense with little micronutrient value, they also cause a massive blood sugar spike which causes an increase in insulin, followed by a blood sugar crash. This ultimately leads to more cravings and overeating.

Many of these foods are also *made* to be addicting. So not only are they lacking in vital nutrients and don’t keep you full for long, they make you crave them more and more and more. Which makes you gain weight or struggle to lose the weight you’ve already gained.

The more you cave to your cravings, the more you crave those foods.

Whole food sources, however, do not spike your blood sugar the way high glycemic foods do. They also contain vital nutrients necessary for our bodies to function properly.

Now I’m not saying you can never eat another slice of pizza or cookie in your life because that’s blasphemy. What I am saying, though, is that the majority of the time, you should really focus on fueling your body with food that makes you feel good physically (aka whole foods), and the other little bit can be whatever you fancy.

~ 80% whole foods + 20% indulgent foods > 95% indulgent foods + 5% whole foods ~

18. Trying fad diets.

Keto.

Paleo.

Atkins.

Carnivore.

Intermittent fasting.

South beach diet.

Gluten-free (not for medical reasons).

Fad diets have one thing in common: They’re effective for losing weight. I’ll give them that.

But they are ❌ NOT ❌ sustainable.

They’re not sustainable in long-term adherence, and the results are not sustainable once you stop following them.

The moment you stop following a fad diet, you will start to gain all the weight back.

Why?

Because they’re too rigid. You can only eat certain foods and have to alienate all the others to the point you eventually cave and eat them.

Why?

Because they do not teach you how to handle eating in the real world that’s happening all around you. Birthdays. Weddings. Anniversaries. Going out with friends. Holidays. A special celebration. It leaves you feeling alienated and desperate for a piece of that pizza or a slice of that cake. So you quit.

The reason you gained all this weight is, in large part, due to unhealthy eating habits brought on by a bad relationship with food.

If you want to live a healthier life long-term and stop this hamster wheel of losing weight just to gain it all back, you have to stop the yo-yo dieting and focus on healthy eating habits.

That means more whole foods and a proper balance of carbs, healthy fats, and protein. The more you eat real foods, the less you’ll crave the foods that helped you gain the weight you’ve been so desperately trying to lose.

And remember, you can still eat pizza! And ice cream! But that shouldn’t be your whole diet, because it’s not healthy for your body or your mind.

Remember: 80% whole foods. 20% indulgent foods.

19. Obsessing over food.

Food used to just be a part of my life, but now it feels like it IS my life.

I find myself constantly thinking about food.

Why?

Other than stress causing more hunger and more cravings, I’d say it’s because I’m not keeping myself busy enough.

I’ve found on the days when I have plans, like going for a hike or SUPing, working on a project, or getting lost in one of my hobbies, I’m not thinking about food. I don’t notice I’m hungry. And it’s so freeing.

So if you also find yourself constantly feeling hungry and thinking about food, find something to distract yourself.

You Got This!!

Really, you do. 🙂

Change requires consistency.

Consistency requires discipline.

Discipline requires remembering what you want more.

Whenever you’re struggling or feel like you’ve hit a rut, come back to this post and reread it.

Let it guide you forward instead of reverting back into old habits that no longer serve you.

Once I realized these were the habits I was filling my life with for the past 3 years and was still partaking in, it was like a lightbulb flipped on and I was finally able to change my ways. I have since lost ~8 pounds and am continuing to prioritize my health over my cravings and my “I don’t wanna” attitude.

Because deep down, I do wanna.

I wanna a lot. lol